“Just a Polysemical Guy!”

I’d probably been subconsciously searching for a good way to describe myself for some time when one of my regular LI buddies did it for me, saying he always enjoyed my comments which could  be taken any number of ways. “Polysemical”-sounds like it could be part of the geometry lexicon, but it’s not. Not really, unless in reaching some, you want to consider all the angles! “Acute” would be my personal favorite but , you see, its very existence creates at least two other, outside  angles-but like the fundamental precept behind much optical illusion (and magic!), our eyes and brain are conditioned to focus

on the inside…., between the lines as it were.All else is extraneous, irrelevant, marginalia and not purposeful or meaningful. I beg to differ, of course, for it is there in the shadings between dark and light, black and white where countless lesser-known connotations reside and await exploration.What is said, What is not said In mathematics, think E=mc2              In this language realm, think double-entendre2. Are you a negative or Positive-Spacer?-to which are you drawn  first/most often..?!oR-LIKE me- do you see them bothsimultaneously? simultaneously?Piano keys?Personally, I guess I'm somewhat of an insecure control freak who likes doing the unpredictable and to keep people guessing.You won't find me in the"What's Trending crowd"  Ta- and Merry Christmas, all!  K.P.    (October07, 2014)


There is more than one way to skin a cat...?and why are bulldozer operators referred to as "cat-skinners?"  K.P.(pERSONALLY ,ilove cats!)

'Disabled people in wheelchairs, such as me, were in the Chairman's time, referred to quite simply as "useless"Nice!

There really was a man..., Richard Gibson, who collected/saved his toe and fingernail clippings for fifteen years!No-sorry, don't know why.       K.P.

Famous frontier man, '\wild bill Hickock'-folk hero, gunfighter, gambler and lawman was, indeed, shot in the back... whileplaying cards, and holdingAces&Eights- which has become known as "DeadMan's Hand" (always, always SPLIT them if playing Blackjack-so as to be never caught dead holding them!!   While in mafia lore/history, 'The Boss' Joe Masseria was gunned down in a small Brooklyn restaurant, holding the Ace of Spades(known ever since as the 'death card')                     Kim P.

MostFlies don't bite or chew meat;they regurgitate enzyne(vomit!)s on to food bits which help to dissolve it then they can just suck it up!There are over90,000 species of fly.       K.P.

The Aussie word "billa-bong' has got to be among the world's top ten funniest!

O.K.O.K. Wadi and boomerang get honourable mention(and our friend'roo'!)

two quick tips from HelaKim?: use dental floss to stitch up your birds at Thanksgiving and Christmas! Strong!(and it does endure oven temps...); two: extend the life of your toothbrush and of the enamel on your teeth by turning your brush 90 degrees clockwise and using it VERTICALLY! Then you're not raking the enamel or gums. And don't forgert to brush your tongue,especially the sides. Really!(where most bacteria reside )One last 'bonus' tip for when you're cooking soups and stews and need to thicken them up some-forget the corn starch/flour! Use Instant oats! Thickens in a jiff- and will not disturb the blend of seasonings you've aslready added. Piece of cake! Ta. and bon appetite!

george Lucas and his Star Wars pals left Hollywood debris behind in the dunes of northern Africa when they were finished shooting...   Just saying is all-some props and a few starbucks cups...                            K.P.

      "The Interview"(based-obviously on that wonderful \James Lipton and his Inside the \actor's Studio center-stage interviewsSo we begin, as usual at the beginning with the questionnaire used by my hero, Bernard Privot:Where were you born and raised , Kim Where did you grow up?

Me: Sarnia, Ontario, Jim- and een at 57, I'm still growing up.I can be quite immature, apparently-just ask my wife

Him(gesturing graciously to front row) And that we shall. With kind permission, I'sd like to for a moment introduce your wife.., Miranda. Miranda can you take a bow please...?

Him: favorite books?

Me:Yes.  Then-Shelley’s Frankenstein, Now, Robbins’ Jitterbug Perfume’, Ludlum’s Bourne Identity..

Him: If you were a dinosaur, what kind would you be and why?

Me: Triceratops…. Built like a bulldozer, but can impale on nasty points when he needs to.

Him If you werea bug, what kind and why?

Me:Spider, for sure. Perfectly content to wait for my next meal,n eeds supporting structure…

Him:Least favorite sound?  And Favorite sound

Me: waves lapping on the shoreline in morning(favorite); (least) dentist’s drill!

Him: Favorite word?

Me: At this moment? Maybe “velvet”

Him: Least favorite?

Me: Probably “motherfucker” Most people don’t think of meaning when they use it-they just want those nasty-sounding”k’s”!

Him: (proffering a hand ,as he stands up) Pleasure, Kim.

Me: yes, you’re right.





               I would like to start by borrowing or re-visiting a few ideas I find germane


               and especially appropriate(we call that in the business-a redundancy), as I welcome you into this,  my third book, a conyinuing autobiographical journey with-.  I assure you- no talking zebras or penises! Some of these initial ideas are from me, some from others, but they all go a ways in helping to fill in the blanks… I will necessarily address some thoughts about my own writing and the writing process , in general. I’ve been asked  frequently about my first book and its bizarre and twisted world of imaginary millionaires, farting fish and talking zebras? What in the world, were you thinking? If you read it, you’ll know!


      I don’t think I could have said it better than best-selling novelist and personal favorite, too, Tom Clancy,  who answered once, when asked about the writing-game,


   “Writing is so much damned fun. I play God. I feel like a kid at Christmas. I make people do what I want, and I change things as I go along.” Control Freak, I guess


       Why do I write?   I must because I am compelled to, every day. It is probably my healthiest addiction and, yes, it does get me high-it brings me joy. It is not, has never been about tasting Warhol’s  fickle, and fleeting ‘fifteen minutes of fame.’ Clearly, it is not the money. I write because I love it and  because it makes me feel good


               To borrow some from Jean Cocteau who said of writing, “This sickness, to express oneself. What is it?”        and William Maxwell who described it so,” An insane life, but what happiness!” And, then there’s the marvelous Canadian humorist, Stephen Leacock, with his now famous line describing a young man who..” jumped up on his horse and rode off in all directions.” It’s just so perfect. And I think some days, it is describing me and my writing very well. The horse may know where we are off to….Usually, however, to continue in the Leacockian spirit at least,  neither of us always knows where the other is going…!Maybe continue on the long fiction piece, maybe a poem, possibly two- by the end, I can usually sort out which ‘bin’ it belongs in.  Depends. Am I in a happy, light, ‘frivolous’(often satiric) mood, or in a darker, brooding-even angry place. And, unlike Oscar W., I would never spend a day stewing over the placement of a comma even if it does make for a clever story years later…One of my professors early on at college once accused me of taking a big handful of commas-after I’d finished writing the paper-going back  and sprinkling them randomly throughout, wherever they fell; in that time period, her observations were quite astute.Long ago, however, I invested in aC.I-Comma Inhibitor


   Then of course, there’s a favorite line of mine from E.M. Forster who was quoted once as saying, “How do I know what I think until I see what I say.?” Me? I never “wanted to be a writer”, No, from quite an early age, I already knew I was a writer. No, I just always wanted the time and space to write to  simply  put pen to paper. Good thing, too, when I heard Judith Rossner’s line , “Every asshole in the world wants to be a writer!” (To which I might add, “and see his book in the bookstore window..!’) With the vast number of people I’ve met and talked to since the publication of my first book, Maynard and Zeke:A Liar’s Playground in  May, 2012, I have to concur. Everyone certainly DOES have a story, and most are only too happy to share-but few are probably worthy of audiences beyondfamily and friends at the dinner table, or in the parking lot. Parking Lot?


      A dear friend was saying “goodbye” to me one day, in just such a parking lot-next to the pub where we had just quaffed some ale, saw another of her friends, and introduced me as “a published writer/author. Her friend looked me over after the handshake, asked to look at a copy of my book, did, and, sure enough, before you could say “Jack Spratt”, started in with his own,” You know, I’ve often thought about writing a book, myself!” But, wait, It got so much better,” “You know, trouble is, I’ve never been very good at English- and (wait for it..!) I don’t have any ideas.”


“And then there’s that ‘time’ thing,” I chirped in. He nodded, as if he understood the commitment. involved in such an undertaking. Most do not. Some think they’ll turn off the TV. for the afternoon and write a book.


“Hmm,”  I snorted, no disguising my disdain. “ Well.., good luck with all that, then.”  Honestly, I’m not making that up; I wish I had-it’s that funny! Back, now, to Rossner’s line for a moment If every asshole out there wants to write may be true, another sentiment most certainly is, at least in my experience: Many out there, if they don’t “want to be teachers”, already believe they are and are not shy at all about taking up your time trying to demonstrate that point by rattling on and on, often about things they have little or no knowledge and understanding of…After twenty or so years teaching English, one of my personal favorites is the person who tries to explain a grammatical concept to me, or better yet what Shakespeare was really getting at in “King Lear”! Like my hair I suppose, my patience and tolerance is thinning somewhat…


It’s funny(not ha-ha..) to me , now these days how I can think…


That for so long, now, I see the world-“my view” through a rhyming filter or screen. Really, I kid you not. From the most profound to most mundane, it begins shaping itself in my mind: a phrase, an image, a lyric, memory, some detail that prods, prompts, even inspires me  to further reflection and examination! Something makes me happy or sad.., dig down and ask why?! This moment, I thought was  captured nicely in Sheryl Crow’s popular  song lyric, “ If it makes you happy, then why are you so sad..?” What is at the heart of it is worthy of further reflection and therein lies the challenge and the excitement! Staying with the thought for some moments, hours perhaps, even days; I understand the sentiment, at least.The ‘Addict’s Anthem’.




Mark Twain is quoted as saying, “The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.”






Please, come and look for some lightning in my story with me- K. P..